Yesterday, my mom said she would be here at 10 am, so I told John not to make me lunch.
12:30, she was still not here...1:30 not here.... didn't get here til 2. Anyone who knows my mom would not be surprised by this and I am not sure why I, again, expected her to be on time or anywhere near time.
I hate this about her. We joke about it, like grandma said 4, so she will be here at 7. But even if we joke, it is supremely annoying. My sister is the same way. I don't get angry anymore about it, be cause I have built it into the equation. It is still annoying. I would rather she say she can't do something and surprise me than count on her.
This is not my particular problem (at least I don't think so!), but over the years I have found that the things that annoy me the most about people are things that I do myself. My biggest failing, I think,is my lack of consistency. (Feel free to email me with your thoughts on this.) I get all excited about something and go hog wild, then I can't stick with it. I drive myself crazy with this. At this point in my life I am not sure I will change this, but hope springs eternal.
But realizing that the thing that annoys me most about people is something I probably do to some extent has made me more tolerant of the foibles of others. I tend to take a hard look at
what annoys me to see why. Because of having all this time on my hands, i have had a lot of time to reflect on my shortcomings and what I want to change about my life.
Those of you who know me know I love the show Animal Cops. I have also spent a good deal of time in the company of beagles. The thing about animals is that they live in the moment more. There are animals on the show that are starved and neglected, but once rescued are willing to trust people again and be friendly. They don't seem to nurse resentment and bitterness, although many of them have reason to. I, on the other hand, can wrap up my hard feelings like they are a gift to be prized. Nursing a grudge is a family sport.
Letting go is one of my most recent self help projects. The other, which is a recurring, on going project, so don't get your hopes up, is to be a better listener. I have noticed from Animal Cops that people often substitute animals for people. I think it is because they don't talk, just listen and are fairly nonjudgmental.
I had another walking dream last night. I just decided I would get out of bed and walk..just do it ..and I did. So this morning I decided it was a sign and tried it. It didn't quite work out that way. Iy hurt and my foot is really swollen although it looks OK. I hope I don't have flying dreams.
4 comments:
I have issues with being on time. So much so, it is the family joke. Someone could say we are going on a trip next week and my first question, "What time do we leave?" I hate being late. I hate when people are late and especially those that always seem to be. BUT I've noticed with two young children, that sometimes things are out of my control. I try to start extra early to make up for this and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It is also hard for me to accept that a lot of things are out of my control.
Amy, you are soooo my child!...so CG, you and I have something else in common. I also hate to be late, get annoyed with those who are habitually late (my DH). I tell him it is disrespectful, but it is not intentional on his part; he is always trying to get just ONE more thing done. Sigh. I doubt that your mom will change at this stage in life, so guess who will have to adjust?!
I'm pretty much an "on-time" person, too, and I agree with Sandy, to be consistantly late gives the message "meeting you on time is not important to me therefor you are not important to me." Now, that may not be the message the other person intends to send, but that's the way it comes across to me. So I try not to do it, but I don't succeed all the time! Once I had children, it did become harder. Especially since only 1 of them is a morning person. I also move a bit slower now that I've gotten a bit older!
Living in the moment (consider the lilies...)and not holding grudges (the hard part of the whole forgiveness thing) are two good things we can learn from our animals!
I think it's probably a good thing NOT to try the things that happen in our dreams. Remind me to tell you a funny story sometime about a dream my son's best friend tried to act out!
Hugs...
sandy that is exactly why my mom is late, just doing one more thing and she's falls asleep even though she says she sleeps well at night
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