off my mountain porch

Class #2: Paper piecing

2010-01-09T09:48:00.004-05:00

Here is our second layout, which is a variation fo the Bits and Pieces layout from the Imagine collection. It is done using the Notebook paper pack and some cocoa cardstock. I used some additional pearl stick ons.

It is a layout idea scraplifted from a layout I saw done with the Felicity paper set, interpreted to Notebook. The basic paer piecing is on the bird wing and the bracket/frame background.

I think it makes a great February/Valentines layout!

Glitter layout

2010-01-09T09:37:00.003-05:00

Here is the layout we are doing first in my scrapbook class at Oasis this winter. It is the January layout using the Heather font and the techniques of adding bling and glitter. I used the making a glitter border on the lower left corner and cut out the snowflake circles and put glitter insets in them. I added the glitter circle stick on and although you can't see it, I added prisma glitter to the tops of 2010 and January for a frosty effect.

To watch the glitter technique video click HERE. This will take you to a page on "fabulously artsy", and she is very talented.

When I put our pcitures in I will probably add some stick on gems,snowflakes and twinkle brads to even bling it up more.

Christmas tree

2009-12-09T06:02:00.005-05:00

Here are some pictures of the house, cookies we made and our tree. Of course, being a young videographer I made a mistake and filmed the tree sideways and I don't know how to change the video..so hold the computer sideways. As you know, it is a small tree. If you had been here, the girls know we would have had to cut a hole in the roof to get one in.

The snow is almost gone, just a few patches. But today we have wind advisories. It is really ripping through. Rain with it last night, which was miserable, but no rain today. We all agree we hate the 5:30 night time. It makes us all feel slow and depressed. Friday night, Hannah and I are going to the planeterium to see a show on ice worlds. Other than that, we are just getting things ready for our Christmas guests. my thoughts are also towards end of the year stuff I have to do for the band, the homeowner's assoc, the club, and our taxes. It makes me long for the flat tax.

Today I am going to polish our silver, which should take about 8 hours. I am taking stuff to do in the oboe studio while the silver is polishing.

TTFN

First Snow

2009-12-06T06:27:00.004-05:00

As promised, pictures of our first snow. I could not get that one picture to turn! It was about 2" and there are pockets that stayed, but the roads cleared by noon.

Katie led the Christmas

Parade. Hannah went with Grandma. I scrapped all day and didn't get done nearly what I had hoped. I think I could make cards or scrapbook everyday and still not run out of pictures or things to do.

Today, we are putting up the tree and decorating, so more pictures to come. And, yes, we are going to Home Depot to get the tree. I understand they are a lot cheaper. We are doing the tree in blue and silver. We are also going to clean before decorating. Using the dyson is great, but not the experience Bryan described. It is still so cold the dogs don't want to go out. Finally, my mom and the millers have reduced our cat population and we are back done to 3.

I know I sent you fall leaves, but I don't think I can send snow.

Trifold Shutter Card

2009-11-21T07:41:00.003-05:00

Here is an example of a trifold shutter card. I made this with the Grace paper and stamp set. I will be teaching how to make these cards at our upcoming Crop a thon/ Cookie swap at St. Clare's Episcopal Church Dec 5th from 1pm to 10 pm. I will be teaching this class at 2 pm. Bring your own paper,stamps and embellishments, I will only be teaching the how..you will provide the what. I have always admired these type of cards and surprisingly they are sooo easy, but look so hard.

New Moon

2009-11-21T06:53:00.003-05:00

New Moon, the latest in the Twilight Series opened yesterday. We went the day before and got tickets..the theater was packed with teenage girls and I mean packed. The lines around the theater were long an hour before the movie started. We went out to the new brothers restaraunt before the movie and with our stomachs full,Hannah and grandma and I appreciated all the work Taylor Laughlin had put into his ab workout this past year. I is a story of unfufilled love, vampires adn werewolves...what a combo. Hannah was very satisfied with the movie and very ecited when we left. I have not read the books, but it is not so complicated that I can't follow along.

Hannah was remembering when you took her out of school to see Harry Potter and she said you would have definitely taken her out of school for this.

This morning I am watching my new weekend morning show,Cash in the Attic. Although I find it interesting, the British accents bug me. I wish they had an American version. Probably Americans don't have much in the attic. today the dogs are getting a bath before they go to Grandma's. I may just give the cat's baths,too.

Katie is having fun in Virginia. She found out a unique way she can get in state tuition..if you do one days active duty in VA she forever has in state tuition!

Today, Hannah and I are going to clean and I am going to make birthday cards.

Clare de Lune

2009-11-16T17:22:00.003-05:00

Hannah has lately been inspired by Debussy! She can pick out the Oboe while it plays and says she wants to be able to play reville or clare de lune on her oboe by the end of the year. For once I hear something over and over I don't mind.

It was a gorgeous day today, almost 80 degrees! I worked and had an interview at the hospital and worked out. Then we went to Bi-lo cause cheez doodles were BOGO and Hannah sez cheez doodles are better than cheetos...crunchy,cheesy goodness in a doodle.

I saw Georgiana moorehouse today...she is going to Disney World for the first time in her whole life for Christmas! She has been all over the world, but never to disney..imagine. She said to say hello to you.

Still no exciting news..I am not going to apologize for my mundane,scrapbooking,beagle loving, coupon clipping, oboe listening, band president life. I am not the "real housewives of Union County " material.

Dead Like Me

2009-11-10T19:45:00.002-05:00

Hey I forgot the most exciting thing from Saturday....we found the new Dead Like Me movie that came out on a video! Of course Hannah and I couldn't wait to get it home..the story left us with more questions than answers... The word on the boards is still that the show could come back.

Hey today I did 2.5 miles in 25 minutes on the elliptical and my weights were too easy! how far I have come. The stretch and tone classes have really been helping.I need to push myself more.I am even thinking about hiring Jennifer! Have i used enough exclamation points this post??

how is the shopping there? Can you get a deal on diamonds like on a caribbean cruise?

Well my honeybaked ham dreams were unfounded. We sold over $5000 in gift certificates..it was really popular. Guess what you are getting for Christmas.

Saturday Fun

2009-11-10T05:47:00.003-05:00

I sent you the pictures of the girls at Buca di Beppo from my cell phone...I can't get them off the camera for some reason. I hope you got them. We had fun, but Northpoint isn't as fun without the prime minister of fun. I am making Eric a GA tech snuggie for Xmas and bought the fabric.I am going to make a matching snuggie for Daisy if I have fabric left over. Earlier me and Hannah raked the front of the subdivision area and our front yard. We got it looking very good. we planted pansies...as we finished a wind blew up and down came more leaves!

my car still isn't ready, so at this point I will just go down Friday when I have to pick up the honeybaked ham coupons for the band. I am enjoying driving the sedan, though. It is odd to sit that close to the road and it is harder to get in and out of. I have so much anxiety about this honeybaked ham fundraiser that I dreamed about honeybaked hams last night and not for the usual reason.

I will be mailing your Christmas present soon, but I will mark it don't open til Christmas so don't!

Not much else going on but everyday life. I set a Hannah trap this morning and it worked like a charm. I started some bacon frying to go with the grits and Hannah's came from miles around. One came from upstairs, ready for bacon, even though it was only 5:30.

I will try to post more pictures soon.

We are expecting 3 inches of rain today from Hurricaine Ida leftovers.

Look what I did

2009-11-01T16:46:00.002-05:00

Here is Daisy claiming her position in front of the blazing fire I built today and it has been going all day! And I did it with wet wood.

WE are having one of your least favorite meals tonight, so you won't miss being here..pinto bean soup. I made steak last night and did a pretty good job, but it was not you. However everyone said my homemade fries were delicious.

Well sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the fire......crackling sounds

My favorite fall window

2009-10-28T08:05:00.002-04:00

I know you will recognize this. My favorite window view..always different. Not much red or orange this year..mostly yellow. I love to sit at the dining room table and scrap and look out on my little corner of heaven..thanks to my loving and providing husband!

Familiar Sights

2009-10-28T07:50:00.002-04:00

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I know I have been negligent about getting to posting, but here are some views that you will recognize from last Sunday, which I think was the peak of the colors this year. Of course I only know that cause today it is mostly brown and dull. I am not looking forward to the coming bleakness and darkness..we turn back the clocks this weekend...and I am already anticipating the spring.

There are so many projects I didn't get finished this spring/summer...maybe I will get to them when there is not so much to do outside.

I noticed one of my pictures didn't load..my favorite window view so I will post another set.

Enjoy FALL

Another beautiful day

2009-10-14T07:16:00.003-04:00

We want you to feel like you are here. Hannah did the I love you heart in the sand. That is me, but still wearing my size 24 clothes on my size 12-14 body.Hannah took these pictures. Next year I will buy a new suit and cover-up. I accidentally put the duplicate of the miscolored racoon.

We went to the beach and again it looked threatening, but then the clouds disappeared, I mean not a cloud in the sky all afternoon and hardly any waves. We are all burned beyond belief with multiple application of sunscreen. We may stay at the pool today, even though I love the surf.

We went out to dinner with Kathleen, matthew, and emma to the old oyster factory and it was a beautiful sunset. I went up to see their condo, which is right next to the Disney Beach House.

I am thinking about booking here next year. If we want to come in summer I have to book now.

I still haven't booked Hawaii next October. It is so hard for me to make decisions without you to plan with. and i feel like we don't really know what you will be doing.....so....

Your favorite Mis Colored Racoon

2009-10-13T08:12:00.003-04:00

Here is mis " I don't need sunscreen cause it's cloudy" mis colored racoon

Wrong about the weather

2009-10-13T07:05:00.003-04:00

Here are some babes from Baywatch for your enjoyment.

It was,according to the weather, supposed to rain all day. But we decided to go to the beach anyway and see what happened. It looked like it would rain all day, so we didn't take our lunch,thinking we would be forced back before then. But at 10 am the clouds broke and the sun came out the rest of the day.Looking at the weather map, it rained on the coast all around us. The water was cold when you got in, but felt great within a few minutes.

Since it was so cloudy when we got there hannah told me she didn't need sunscreen...so later you will get to see pictures of the miscolored racoon.

Kathleen Rhodes and her daughter Emma and her grandson matthew decided at the last minute to come down here, so we sat with them at the beach. Matthew lays down on the beach cause he loves to watch the waves come in at him at eye level and he did that for HOURS. Kathleen made us PB&J and saved us from starvation.

My favorite float broke...but i got 3 good years out it. The pink chair I lover to sit in and float on the waves.

Last night everyone was tired and we went to Barnes and Noble to get magazines and books for the beach. Yesterday the forecast was for rain today, but this am, the forecast is for a great day.

Tonight we are going to make hamburgers on the grill and we will take our lunch to the beach.

You, like us, will spend your day playing in the sand. I hope like us you are getting an ubertan.

Off my March porch

2009-10-12T08:00:00.002-04:00

This is not my mountain porch, but my Hilton Head porch...note the Spanish moss on the trees. It is 6 am, so still dawn. Very quiet with just me and my cup of coffee. Birds calling in the distance, low tide in the marsh, no breeze today yet and very very humid. We had gorgeous weather yesterday.

when we left Blairsville, we got to Turner's Corner and all of a sudden there was sunlight! and blue skies. Except for last Saturday, it has been so overcast and gloomy in Blairsville

that we have had to turn on the lights during the day in the house and I am considering Prozac. But all the way down, it was beautiful...and 84 in hilton head. It will not be as hot today and supposed to rain off and on most of the day so we will just make the most of it...we may be forced to go shopping if it is too rainy.

we brought Rachel Todd and Rachel Rabb. Both of them have never been to the beach except Savannah! I am not personally even sure that counts and they are in for a treat. Rachel Rabb's dad does not like sand, so they go hiking and mountain trips, no beaches. It is annoying to have sand in your butt crack, but I can't imagine not going to the beach!

There is something missing in this picture.... my early morning coffee buddy!

And just to make it perfect...when we stopped at Publix to get that great bread, the had bear claws! And not just one kind..apricot,almond...yum! goes great with my coffee and worth the consequences, I hope.

Well, I am going to get dressed and drive to Barnes and Noble to get a book to read. and some magazines. It is hard for me to believe, but I haven't really read a book in over 5 months! Nothing has sparked my imagination, but also I have just been too busy it seems. Or maybe I have lived in blairsville too long.

Mountain Color

2009-10-12T07:51:00.005-04:00

Here is a scene from the driveway. It seems like this last week all of a sudden there is so much color in the trees. But they are not quite to the candy corn stage. Maybe by the time we get back. The fall flowers this year are gorgeous. I have never seen so many purples and golds, or maybe I never looked.

I will take more pictures when I get back, the yellows and oranges have not peaked. hopefully I won't miss it.

Also, I finally got the picture of the 3 hour production 13th birthday cake that didn't turn out like it was supposed to. OH Well, back to the drawing board!

What you missed today

2009-10-09T17:30:00.003-04:00

SO you won't feel left out and may even be glad you weren't here for dinner, here is what you missed today:

Went to Amy's to see about taking care of her cats and dogs while she is gone,

Went to office to tie up loose ends since I won't be there next week

got tickets and money together for parade tomorrow

got snacks for band for competition

ordered pizzas for band

Listened to Dave Ramsey

cleaned refridgerator

packed food and clothes for hilton Head

Took old clothes over to Jamie's

Cleaned out car

For dinner we had corn pancakes and bacon

Watched rerun of Project Runway I fell asleep during last night

Katie went to a corn make in cleveland with her friends

Hannah mowed the lawn and practiced oboe

Praying for no rain so we can go to parade and competition or I am stuck with 20 bags of cheez doodles and potato chips and apples and bananas and tangerines

Pat from across the street sent the girls iTunes cards for mowing the lawn this summer

maggies back to sucking blankets

I saw Anthony Tankersley today. He looked good, but says he only has 10% of his previous lung capacity and can never be a firefighter again and is not sure he will work. He says he get 60% of his previous salary in disability and he is greatful not to have died, so the rest is all good.

And that is what you missed

Trying not to Clean

2009-10-07T12:24:00.002-04:00

Last night we had some very rocking storms. Today, we don't have a dial tone, so no phone service. luckily, Jason hooked me up with the phone booster, so I can use my cell phone.

Hannah came home form school sick, and it is times like this i am glad I don't work much, so I can be here when she needs me.

Tomorrow the last puppy leaves. She is small, but clever. She escaped from the pen and we can't figure out how. She learned how to go in and out the dog door. Since she escaped yesterday she spent the day wandering around with the big dogs and didn't run away.

Yesterday, I took the car for service and fixing the little things going wrong with it and while they were working on it I went shopping. I bought a size 12 jeans! It is soo hard for me to go to the regular section of clothes and think I can wear them. I bought clothes at Ann Taylor! I still think of/see myself as 70 lbs heavier, but it was definitely time for new clothes, cause the old ones were so baggy I looked like a hobo clown in everything.

So today, I am trying to clean the house,especially the floors, but I keep getting distracted or am I looking for distractions. Like writing this post.

Well, I need to get back to it and start packing for hilton head, since we have the band contest this saturday after the sorghum parade.

Weekend with Grandparents/uncle Brian

2009-10-04T13:07:00.001-04:00

Your mom and I went to Merciers. The arkansas blacks were not ready yet. .. But we had fun. Your mom said she had a great time and she was glad we went.

Bill had not been to a game this year yet, so he was itching to go and so excited. It was actually a

very exciting game. Two touchdowns in the last 3 minutes and LSU won. Katie says UGA never wins when she goes and the curse is not lifted. Hannah, who wasn't too excited about going had a great time.

The first is a picture of Katie in her drum major gear. The band did sooo good Friday. THe football team won against Fannin. It was so beautiful at the stadium. The full moon coming up over the mountains and the temperature was just right.

I guess we are making plans to go to U Va In November with Brian. Or at least KAtie is. I didn't get a lot of time to talk to Brian, but your mom and I had a long , long talk.

We are down to just one puppy.

I am working on your card project.

Hannah's birthday picture

2009-09-28T07:28:00.002-04:00

For some reason, I couldn't get any of the birthday pictures to load. I will try again later when I get home from work.

I have to get finished with my class pages for scrapbook class Thursday, so it may be later.

I am also working on cards...sooo.

I am sure those pesky kids of yours will want to eat dinner as well....

Hannah is 13

2009-09-26T10:35:00.003-04:00

Hannah, my baby turns 13 today. Later I will post pictures of her from her birthday, but here are some videos of the puppies I hadn't uploaded. There is "auntie daisy" and her niece. escape from the pen..you know I like a good Lockup flick and Katie cuddling a puppy.

Auntie Daisy has been a big help.

Since our band contest got rained out today we are going to go to Dawsonville and Cumming and do something special for Hannah's special birthday. Pics to follow.

By the way, what did you think of the fence?

tonight's party

2009-09-25T07:07:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow our baby turns 13! I guess it's time I have to drop the post pregnancy baby fat excuse..oh well, I will think of something else. Tonight she is having a sleepover with 7 girls. I think I will just put them in the basement and lock the door from the top of the stairs.

Today a few of the puppies are going to their new homes. They are so cute and I love watchiing their antics and cuddling with them, but I will not miss the 4:30 am play time.

Today I am going to spend my time cleaning the house and getting ready for the party. we picked an awesome cake off familyfun.com and I will have pictures tomorrow. I hope it turns out like the pix. BUt of course, even with walmart, I could not find different size cake pans, so I will have to cut the cakes down from the 8" sizes. the recipe called for 10",8" and 6". I could only find 9" and 8". Oh well overcome and improvise.

Tomorrow is the Marble Classic Marching Band Competition in Jasper. Hannah and I are planning to go, but they are forecasting more rain, which would stink.

Rainy Day in the garden; familiar duo

2009-09-20T09:21:00.003-04:00

I am resurrecting this blog to be able to keep in touch with John better. He can also go backward and forward to see things, so if you were previously following due to my broken ankle, you might be bored. Maybe not.

John you said there is no rain or green, so here is a video of rain today in the garden. I was quiet, so you can hear the rain and see the fall colors with the mums and the new fence I put in. The trees are touched with color. I was lucky enough to get the fall lawn stuff on the yard before this rain.

Also, I included a picture of a familiar dou doing what they do best on a rainy day. As you can imagine, the last thing they want to do is go out, but Daisy followed me out. We are going to have winner dinner tonight (great crock pot weather) and I am going to attempt to learn how to use the scanner you got me for my birthday and scrapbook.

My Friend Liz

2008-12-09T16:35:00.004-05:00

my friend Liz Crisotfaro died last Thursday after a 5 year battle with ovarian cancer. She had a beautiful funeral. I could only hope at my funeral people would remember me as kindly.

I first met Liz when she and Tim came to my office for an ultrasound. Even though Dr. Breedlove delivered their baby, I had the privilege of telling them they were having a girl! I can still remember how excited They both were, especially Tim. I can't look at stephanie without thinking about that shadowy image on the ultrasound screen so many years ago.

I have many fond memories of Liz. When she first started working at UGH, she called me and told me one of my patients was completely dilated I had better hurry. I got there and she was only 2 cms dilated. This happened to me as a nurse and we laughed about it for years. Then there was the time we were getting Circus Pony ready to be Katie's 10th birthday gift. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing. We had a book on how to groom a horse. We went step by step reading it. It took us 4 hours and I'm not sure he even looked that great after we cut his tail short, but he was sparkly and we had fun. Both of us got better at it.

She was Hannah's godmother.

When I would have a delivery that had complications, she was always there with a supportive word to ease my angst. She always came in to help when we asked her. She is one of the best labor nurses and baby nurses I have ever worked with.

I had forgotten all about her pies until her brother in law talked about it at her funeral, but her dutch crumb apple pie was the best! I remember John especially loved it and she would make him one from time to time. I think I repressed it cause he liked hers better than mine.

When I recently was at her house I saw the book 90 minutes in heaven there. This was an awesome book. I hope she had read it, but even if she didn't I know she is free and in the glorious company of the blessed mother in the beautiful light of heaven.

Catherine at 17

2008-11-29T19:37:00.004-05:00

17 years ago today Katie was born. She was born at home in Rome Georgia. Labor started right after I had cleaned up all the Thanksgiving dinner dishes. Of course, I had not had a nap. She kept me up all night with contractions every 3 min, being born at 6:15 in the morning. She would never take a bottle and breastfed for an hour at a time only stopping for 15 minutes at a time and kept me up all night for months until i thought I would go mad from lack of sleep. It thought it would never end and now i would do it all over again for 17 more years.

How can I describe Katie? She was the light of our life. She had the biggest blue eyes and for a long time looked like a life support system for eyeballs.

She has grown from a cute girl to a beautiful woman. She has a great sense of humor and always makes me laugh with her impersoniations, and weird way of looking at the world. She loves a fart joke as much as the next person. She is a great dancer and says yeah, yeah and yeah. She luckily got her dad's body type and my smarts. She can be deadly serious and is good at everything she tries...trombone player, horse rider, tato lover, A++ student, hip hop and toe ballet dancer.

She loves pink, chicken & dumplings, Tato, poncho, her sister Hannah, getting dressed up, swipping into her jammies, Pride and Prejudice, iPods,fires in the fireplace, jewelry (she gets this from me), calculus and i suspect Ewic.

She is loyal, thoughtful and has a photographic memory. She speaks French. She can't open jars.

She is hoping to go to Georgia Tech and thinks she wants to be an architect.

She has made my life richer during her brief and brilliant time as my baby.

Christmas Cards

2008-11-24T16:39:00.004-05:00

Here are some of the Christmas cards I have made this year. They are actually the same card, just with different paper and embellishments. I really loved the way they turned out. It is one level 2 paper pack from Close to My Heart with one stamp set.

I love getting Christmas cards, I even love those oft maligned Christmas letters. So about 10 years ago I decided to start making my own cards to "save money". I got into rubber stamping as a way to do this. I wish I had some of my early cards, they would probably make me laugh. 10 years and thousands of dollars later, I am still making my own cards. There is nothing cheap or frugal about it, but I think of each one as kind of a small gift for the season. The worst years are

when I get an idea, then start it and hate it and have to start all over at the last minute.

Well I have a fire going on this cold winter night and I am going to write notes in my cards so they will be ready to go on the day after Thanksgiving.

The Beagles don't want to go out

2008-11-18T08:15:00.003-05:00

We had a dusting of snow yesterday morning. The top of the mountain behind us was covered.

The beagle girls don't want to out to chase rabbits or do their business or anything. They lay by the roaring fire John built or go back to bed, curled up next to each other.

The trees that were green when I started this journey are now bare and we can see the house behind us that is hidden from February til November. Twilight is beautiful over the mountains. It is the most gorgeous shade of sapphire and then the moon appears and the diamond stars come out against the black frame of the bare trees.

I filled my birdfeeder and am getting a lot of cardinals. The hummingbirds are gone. I love watching the bird parade, even if John doesn't like the seed shells on the deck.

My hemlock that is over 30 feet tall off the deck is still alive. It is one of my favorite trees in the yard. so many hemlock have died. I hope the treatments save my friend, cause she is home to lots of squirrels and nests in the summer.

I am working on my annual Christmas Cards. I like to get them out right after Thanksgiving.

I have been walking up and down stairs and not double stepping. It is slow, but I am grateful to do it.

I am going downstairs now to work on the next 20. I am going to put logs in the woodstove and

enjoy the flames and peppermint tea while I create. Should I pour you a cup?

Skipping Thanksgiving

2008-11-15T11:02:00.002-05:00

I heard a radio talk show the other day and they were discussing how early they recieved the first Christmas catalog and when they saw the first Christmas decorations and ads. Of course, when I was little, this never happened until after Thanksgiving, but now it has crept and crept earlier. I usually get my first Christmas catalog in August and now the decorations go up as soon as Halloween is over.

The wierd thing about it is that if you think about it..we now skip Thanksgiving. Is it because there is no real commercial value in it? True,you buy food, but other than that there are not usually thanksgiving cards and gifts...not much to market. Halloween, Christmas.

More an more restaurants stay open, so their employees can't be with their families and over the years, more and more stores that are really nonessential are staying open. I believe in our town CVS is going to be open, so those employees can't be with their families. I think it is more evidence of putting commerce over the value of the day.

I know this year I am so very thankful for Orthopedic Surgeons, my family, my friends, raised toilet seats (it's getting lower on my list), walking, driving, That I am out of debt in this economy,scrapbooking and my beagles.

I encourage you to not patronize stores on the holiday, to discourage the encroachment of Thanksgiving and leave me a comment about what you are thankful for.

A Good Holiday Season

2008-11-12T20:07:00.003-05:00

I just finished watching the news and as I am every year, I was irritated to hear all the talk and prognostication about the upcoming "bad" or "disappointing" holiday season. I understand they were talking about the recent economic problems, which are very real and very scary. But I don't think that a holiday season should be measured by what is spent or purchased. Every year it seem there are nightly updates on the news about how "good" or "bad" the holiday season is, measured by the sales figures form the mall. Goodness knows I think the last thing anyone should be doing is getting in debt to have a "good" Christmas.

But what if the measure was if we were thankful for what we have?

If we helped someone without being asked?

If we thanked the people we encounter everyday (check out clerks, teachers, secretary, tellers,fast food workers) and let them know how much we appreciate the job they do?

Made someone their favorite meal?

Remember someone forgotten?

A footrub?

I am of course talking about the secular aspects of the holiday season. I think aside from the religious celebrations, the holidays can be a special season and you don't need a lot of money to do this.

I am looking forward to Christmas. I feel like I lost the fall the year and I am excited to be able to be more of a participant than I was this fall. I love making my annual Christmas cards and decorating the house. I even think it is fun to come up with inexpensive but meaningful gifts for my family and friends.

Here's what I have come up with:

Personalized family calendar $18: snapfish

Dinner and a rousing game of apples to apples

"family favorites" cookbook or recipes

Really good coupons

Movie nights

Let's hear your ideas......

Week 11 Day 2 end of the ankle

2008-11-12T16:13:00.004-05:00

Well it's really not the very end, but

I am doing so much better I guess it's time to change my focus to something else and post updates as needed. Physical therapy has gotten me where I can walk up and down stairs (holding on to stuff) and walk Ok without my brace. I still limp, but I think it is less and less every day. Some days when I really walk a lot, it hurts at night, but the next day I can walk easier in the beginning

of the next day. I am taking 1/4 of a pain pill and motrin most nights.

It still swells alot, so I have a cankle, but I can live with that.

I just got back from physical therapy, and Dr. Rhodes says my flexion is now back to normal.

If you had asked me 2 weeks ago even if I thought I would be making this much progress, I would have never believed it. Three weeks ago i had to use 2 crutches to walk and couldn't bear weight on my right leg. Now no crutches and I can put full weight on the right leg for 5-10 seconds. Who knows what the next 2 weeks will bring!

90 minutes in heaven Week 10 Day 3

2008-11-05T13:45:00.002-05:00

This is a book worth reading, 90 Minutes in Heaven, by Don Piper. It was an easy 1 1/2 hour read and a very moving account of a man's death and life afterwards. He also went through a period of dependence and injury, which I could relate to. After reading what he went through I felt like a whiney baby. Rating A

When I was a nurse in intensive care I had about three experiences like the one in the story, which all had a profound impact on my faith. I was with a number of people when they departed this earth. More than one told me about their visions before they died. Most described beautiful music. Most thought everyone could hear it. Some talked to their relatives or described the beauty of the scenes and the peace. One lady had been getting better every day and I was sure she would be going to a regular hospital room soon. Since she was better, I helped her go to the shower and then I blew her hair dried and styled it for her. She told me she was not going to be there when I came back the next day. I told her that was ridciulous cause she was doing so much better. She told me her deceased husband had come to her and told her she would be joining him soon. I told her maybe soon meant 10 years in heaven time. Anyway we finished her beauty treatments and I tucked her in. When I came back the next day, she had passed away in her sleep.

One time I was working with a lady who was on a ventilator and had not been conscious for over a month. Her daughter came every day and sat with her for an hour or so. One night, after her daughter left at 9, I went back in at 10 to change her position and she was awake. She became very agitated to tell me something. She wanted to write something. Because of the ventilator she could not talk. I found a paper and pencil. She wrote her daughters name. I told her her daughter had just left. She wrote, Come Back. and she was very insistent. I called her daughter, who lived some distance away and had just walked in the door, and told her the good news about her mother waking up and that she wanted her to come back. The daughter was happy to hear about her about her mom, but understandably tired. She asked if there was anything wrong. I said no, her vital signs were great and this seemed to be an improvement, of course. She said she would come first thing in the morning. I relayed this to the lady, who pounded on the paper..now! I told her daughter I didn't understand it, but this is what her mother said. She sighed deeply and said she would come back. She arrived about 45 minutes later, sat at her mother's bedside to talk to her. Her mother smiled with joy, cried, held her hand and died.

I'm sure there is a logical explanation. After all when we did dissections in anatomy class we never saw the soul.

a Book to avoid ..Progress week 10 day 1

2008-11-03T07:37:00.004-05:00

First of all, a book to avoid--Skinny Bitch. How this book made it to the best seller list is beyond me! I am so glad I borrowed it from the library rather than actually spent money on it. It was basically book promoting a vegan diet (no cheese!) with a ton of swear words. The science behind their advice is questionable, but the book was basically unreadable due to the potty mouth and I mean f*words. I cannot believe anyone could follow this "diet" much less plow through this book. I thought it was supposed to be a humorous book about modeling. Here's the jist... be a vegan,exercise a lot and you will be skinny. Rating F

I went to church yesterday for the first time since my accident. I "walked" all day without crutches in my slow zombie stroll. It is hard to imagine unless you haven't had it in a while, how much it means to walk and have your hands free. Carrying things is underrated. I can't go all day or long long distances, but I can do more and hopefully will continue doing more and more each day.

I started Christmas cards. My first one I didn't like (amy you will be getting a christmas card), so it is back to the drawing board for me. I am trying some new techniques. I will let you know how they go. I am working on this today as well.

My goal this week is to reduce my limp. Just like the OBamites, I am ready for a change and I have hope that a change is coming!

Who let the Dog In? Week 9 Day6

2008-11-01T15:34:00.002-04:00

Does Daisy have thumbs? She looks like she has a secret doesn't she?

I had a rough night the night before and couldn't sleep after 12:30. I had weird, intrusive thoughts and had finally solved all my problems byt the time 6 am rolled around and it was time to get up and make breakfast. So last night I took a sleeping pill at 10. I let the dogs out. Maggie did her business and came back in, but Daisy was off chasing something. I got up two more times and she wouldn't come, so if figured she could tough it out until Katie got home from the game in about an hour. I asked Katie this morning what time she got home. She said they had been late and she didn't get in til 12:30. I said ,"well I guess Daisy was ready to come in." She said, "Daisy was on your bed when I got home. " I asked her if the door was open and she said no. I asked her if she was sure Daisy didn't run in beside her and she said she was sure they came out of the bedroom.

Come to think of it, my ankle really hurt this am and usually that is the best time. i have to wonder if i got up and let her in. My crutches hadn't moved, so i must have just walked. I can't believe this wouldn't have woken me up from the pain. Any other explainations will be entertained.

My progress with walking this week has been really good. Yesterday I walked (zombie walk) with out a crutch. Both hands free!!!! Today i am back with the one crutch, but still, the progress is really good. I now believe I will be walking with only a slight limp by Christmas.

I do have more pain, but I think it is good pushing yourself kind of pain, not you shouldn't be doing this kinda pain.

A day at the store Week 9 Day3

2008-10-29T16:50:00.004-04:00

Amy took me out to lunch and then we went shopping! What fun! When we were out at lunch the waitress saw us discussing coupons and she opined that coupons "took too much work".

Above is a picture of what I got for $78.50. Amy took 6 lbs of the bacon and 4 canisters of oatmeal. So all these groceries including 24 pounds of bacon, 10 canisters of oatmeal, toilet paper,milk, tampax, tide.. all you see for $78.50.

Ingles: Cash $74.99 Coupon savings: $45.96

Bi-lo: Cash $3.36 Savings $158.82 This included BOGO raincheck and 10/10 raincheck as well as coupons for everything.

So total savings in say 2 1/2 hours $204.78. If a waitress makes $15/hr, saving this would have allowed her to work 14 less hours than she would have had to work to buy the same amount of stuff. I would rather work less and save money. It didn't take me 14 hours to get this trip together. So I say unless you are wealthy it is too much having to work not to use coupons.

And we had a gift certificate for lunch--- double score!!!!!

Yes, Amy got a picture of me in the scooter at Ingles. I crutched it through Bi-lo.

Guess what's for breakfast? Oatmeal with berries (free blueberries from this summer) and bacon.

Driving Week 9 Day 2

2008-10-28T09:28:00.002-04:00

Last night I drove for the first time since Aug 24th. I was weird, but easier than I thought it would be. I feel pretty confident. I am driving myself to PT today. I don't think I could drive for like an hour yet, but I can go to town and back. Getting the brace in my tennis shoe limits my mobility, so i will either get a different brace, and/or larger shoes temporarily. I think I will do better if I use a cane rather than the crutches.I will ask at PT. My ankle is really stiff in the morning, but after exercises it is more supple. I am going to try just motrin and no pain pill today. I think taking the pain pill and motrin yesterday made it easier for me to walk and i will take them if I need to, but I don't want to have to have them. If they improve my mobility, though I will take them.

I am so excited about my shopping trip tomorrow!

Zombie Week 9 Day 1

2008-10-27T08:04:00.004-04:00

Here is a picture of my darling Katie. She keeps us in stitches with her sense of humor and her impersonations. She was conceived purposely the month after i had a miscarriage. I really, really wanted a baby and having the miscarriage made me worried there was something wrong and maybe i would not have another child, so I decided not to wait the 6 months i had been told. That was my first miscarriage and I was devastated. But now I have Katie. Katie says she is happy about the miscarriage, because without it someone else would have been here, not Katie! She has certainly made me forget all about it. She is taking me driving tonight. She promises to scream "you're going to hit that car" like I did with her in the high school parking lot tonight.

Anyway, back to the ankle. I was watching TV yesterday and with all the Halloween stuff on I saw something that reminded me of how I walk now, zombies!. Not the fast "28 days" type, but the slow stumbling "Shaun of the Dead", "Night of the Living Dead" type! So now I can say it is all about a halloween theme as I lurch and limp. Yesterday I took 1/2 pain pill. It helped me walk better, but boy I didn't have any motivation. I wasn't sleepy, but wanted to nap. I don't know how to describe it, other than I was less worried about walking. I am not sure if that feeling is "getting high", but it was weird. I may try 1/4 with Motrin. I am glad I haven't needed it til now. I read stories about people on my broken ankle web group who have to have 3 to 4 a day from the beginning. If nothing else, not needing pain meds is a blessing. I would have been so depressed if I took those with any regularity.

I read an interesting book lately, called "Helping me Help Myself" (Beth Lisick), about a lady who tried a new self-help technique to address her various problems every month. Great concept, and the book was funny, but the book didn't meet up to my expectations. Except for the Richard Simmons cruise, she really didn't TRY the techniques and only gave them lip service as far as trying to understand them. She tried John Gray, Covey, Chopra....She tried to get her finances in order,and clean her house or organize it. She also skipped three months, which was a major cheat. Could have been a more interesting book. It was entertaining and i would read more of her humor books, but I am glad I borrowed it from the library and hadn't bought it. I love New Year's resolutions or change my life resolutions of all kinds and this hit on the big one's most people have ( lose weight, organize, finances), so it promised to be right up my alley. And I am thinking now about what my resolutions will be.....

Victories of the Week Week 9

2008-10-26T12:59:00.002-04:00

Well today was an action packed week on my journey back to my life as it was before this injury.

I now "walk barefoot" with my crutches or one crutch. It has been three days and it really hurts, but I think I have to do it to get better. I have now taken a pain pill and may take one today. Sometimes I can "walk" OK and other times it is a real limping affair and i am not sure I am doing it right. I am trying to make myself go get it myself rather than asking, even if I don't feel like it.

This week I:

Made breakfast for the kids twice

Packed lunches three times

Made dinner twice (making split pea soup and homemade yeast rolls tonight, which will be third dinner)

Cleaned my own bathroom (washed floors on hands and knees)

Did some laundry

Made coffee in the morning

All these things are things I haven't done since my injury. They don't seem like much, but it is progress to me.

Next week I am going grocery shopping. I still may have to use a cart/scooter there due to the distance.

I still do not think i can get my foot in any shoes I have.

Next week Katie will take me to practice driving.

The foot feels like when you have dropped something heavy on your foot every time I try to step on it and it hurts across the ankle and swells. I know I have enough cement and hardware in there that nothing will happen to it. I know to get better it has to be used. So these things make me determined to use it. I try to put my full weight on it as much as I can. I still can't just walk walk.

Baby Steps

1st Day "Walking" Week 8 Day 5

2008-10-24T07:21:00.002-04:00

I still have to use a crutch to balance and can't put full weight on my foot. After the distance from my bedroom to living room the foot is swollen, but the more I "walk" the easier it is. I am going to figure out today how much % of weight I am putting on it. It isn't exactly like Lazarus where they say walk and I arise and walk. I can't fit my foot and brace in any of the shoes I have.

I can't wait to try driving and am working on strength training with my stretchy band.

The other good news...I didn't gain wt during all this immobility. Lost maybe 1 or 2 lbs, but didn't gain and that is good. Probably cause I couldn't get to a snack.

Week 8 Day 4 Parole from Ankle Jail

2008-10-23T07:42:00.003-04:00

Great news! The orthopedic doctor took me out of the Darth Vader boot and put me in a lace up

brace and told me I can walk and drive and do whatever I want. Katie Has graciously agreed to take me to practice driving this weekend or early next week. She says she will sit in the passenger seat and cover her eyes and hold the handle like I did when I took her driving. Once I can do that, I am free!!

I have tried walking on the brace. I still need a crutch, but I am determined to do it. I can only go short distances (bedroom to living room), but It will get better as I do it. I am not sure how much weight I am putting on it, but will measure today. Also, more good news... I didn't gain weight. Didn't lose, but didn't gain either, which I think is great due to the inactivity.

So today I am going to walk, bathe and do my excercises. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!

A funny thing happened yesterday. John went into Kroger to get me some sale items I had coupons for and when he came out and I checked the register receipt ( yes I always check), they had given him the senior citizen discount without asking. He was so mad he wanted to go back in and give them the 5% back. We laughed and laughed. I told him I am cheaper than I am proud and I told him I will send him in to get all my groceries!

We feel like senior citizens,though, as he drove me to my doctor's appts yesterday....

Friends Week 8 Day 1

2008-10-20T19:40:00.006-04:00

Ankle Update: Dr visit this Wed. I hope he tells me I can walk. John says I hope this since I'm doing it anyway. I wouldn't call it a walk. I have to use crutches and it is more of a limp, but it's a start. I can put my bare foot down, but can put barely any weight on this. It swells alot, but less than before and is not as purple.

I still can't drive, but my projection is that I will be the end of November. I don't have any pain. It is at the annoying phase when I get into another room, realize i need something from the room I was just in and REALLY really weigh out how bad I want it. One thing I am proud of is that I haven't peed on myself. I must have good bladder control. Cause sometimes I put it off cause of the effort and sometimes I barely make it-- it is hard to crutch faster. I have been the victim of fart jokes and still made it! Those make me laugh so hard if there was an issue it would be apparent.

I also have given up my raised toilet seat......progress. Also, I can crutch up stairs without a panic attack.

Now to friends. I couldn't have survived this without my friends. I have lots of different kinds of friends. There is my best friend (John), my young friends (as John calls them), friends-lite, true blue friends, virtual broken ankle friends and friends i didn't know I had friends. All of my friends have been great with food, visits, phone calls, emails and just letting me know I haven't been forgotten, even if I'm not out there and around. I know that life can get busy and all my friends have different stage of life issues (school,toddlers, kid's activities, work...) and I am eternally grateful that I was included. I learned compassion from my friends. I am humbled by their stick to itiveness, when at times I smelled bad, was depressed, had nothing new to say, and couldn't help them much.

After all, all of us want to matter for something, to someone. One of the reasons I decided to "retire" was that I wasn't sure what i did really mattered. i knew being a mother really matters. I know that i had some patients with whom i had a true connection and that was what it was about for me. but if i heard one more I am going to have to change cause you're not on my insurance, i would have said something i would have regretted. If that is all our relationship means by all means get another doctor "on your plan" and don't call me when your phone call isn't returned or he can't remember your name...ARRGH!

But I regress. I have been thinking more about what i will do when I can walk and i will save that for another blog.

for now, i will just get by with a little help from my friends!

Disney for the Disabled Week 7 Day 2

2008-10-14T13:56:00.002-04:00

Can you believe 7 weeks! The bummer is I'm not walking yet. The good news is i am closer and closer. I am being very diligent about my excercises, even here. i crutched it some the first day and then I got a scooter. It is easier on me and easier on my family. The down side is that I really can't go on many rides cause of the crutches. But I have been on most of them before and will come back again. Eric and Rachel (who are with us) have never been before and they are having a blast and that is the most important thing. I hate using the scooter cause it is a little humiliating, but it does make it so much easier and I am never going to see any of these people again. Today the family is at Epcot and I stayed back at the hotel. Animal Kingdom tomorrow and I wanted to get my foot unswollen so I can go the whole day. Epcot is my least favorite park, although I have never done "soarin"...next time.

The parks are more crowded than I would have expected and i am glad we made reservations cause most places are not taking walk up diners at all. This is one thing i have to remember next time, make dining reservations 5 to 6 months out. I always forget. I did do it 3 months ahead and had trouble then.

Alhough I am glad for the October break, I miss the lassez-faire days of just taking my kids out of school in early December, when it is really dead here. Maybe I'll do that again. Next time I will be walking! It is nice to be here with older kids. i see all the parents with the crying, overstimulated, need a nap youngsters and I told John, "i am so over that, I am so glad that is not me." This is one of the first times I felt we could go at it all day and stay for the night parade and fireworks.

I have cheated and walked a few steps with my boot on and no crutches. I can't estimate how much weight I put on it, but it was some. It didn't kill me. After we get back I have my next appt and I am hoping I will be cleared to walk.

Well going to the pool at the happiest place on earth.

Old cats Week 6 Day 5

2008-10-10T12:52:00.003-04:00

This is Thomas. She is 15 years old. This is very old for a cat. Most cats that are indoor/outdoor like her last 7 years or so.

To me, she still looks like just Thomas, but when I see her go up the stairs, she struggles more and I can see her age.

She showed up at our doorstep when we lived in the shack on Old Blue Ridge Highway. Katie was 2 and she kept walking around with a sock on her shoulder, petting it, saying it was her new kitten Thomas. So when this kitten showed up, we decided she was Thomas. She was so tiny, I have no idea how she ended up alone at the house on the busy highway, but there she was.

She has 7 to 8 toes on each paw. When we got Lady the dog, she left for 10 days and I thought she was gone for good, just too mad about her house being violated. But just like nothing had even happened, she waltzed back in 10 days later and reestablished her residence upstairs. She is the most unsocial of our cats. She and Daphne (cat 2) get along well, but Tato (cat 3) is her mortal enemy. She mainly sleeps upstairs. Everyday she goes outside and i watch her walk down the path to the treehouse. She is usually gone about an hour, then wants back in. She will only go in and out the front door. She will at times allow you to pet her, but when she decides time is up, will hiss and scratch and run away.

And she loves Amy Bell. this goes back to the time when Amy was in high school and college and "worked" for me. apparently her and thomas bonded over naps upstairs. Thomas does not come for anyone else, but when Amy calls, Thomas comes running.

I often wonder how much longer Thomas will haunt our home and the top of the stairs. It seems like she has been with us forever. Daphne (cat 2 ) is only 1 1/2 years behind her. The house of old cats.

I had my first physical therapy today. He says i have to only get my flexion to +10 and I am at -3, so only 13 degrees more to be able to walk. I have excercises to do and i told him i will be there by our next visit!

Week 6 Day 4 Daytime TV

2008-10-08T17:12:00.003-04:00

I have decided after doing some research that the kind of person who watches daytime TV is probably not someone you would want to live next to. This is especially true of afternoon talk show watchers.

*** Disclaimer*** The watching of Cheaters, Maury, Jerry Springer and et al was done purely for the purposes of research.

The people who watch Animal Cops have pets, shop at Petsmart and donate money to animal causes. How do I know? That's who advertises.

The people who watch afternoon talk shows need lawyers for a variety of reasons, have structured settlements (from lawsuits??) and need fast cash, are unemployed, looking for a rewarding career in the health fields, need cheap car insurance from the high risk insurers and are up to their eyeballs in debt. There are probably 3 or 4 lawyers trolling for viewers who have experienced medical malpractice or been involved in accidents, for which they promise thousands of dollars. On one commercial, they post the type of claim made. One guy got $650,000 and they note the accident involved fatalities. No thanks. I guess suing someone beats going to Sanford Brown for a low paying job as a medical assistant, crime scene investigator, child care specialist or transcriptionist. But to get to that job they will definitely need to get "the minimum insurance to make you legal". I hope they don't hit me with that.

There is also an ad for free telephone service for those receiving food stamps or medicaid - great! I think they should bundle in cable at my expense.

But yet, as I sit here with my foot up because of an accident, thinking about a career in the medical field........

Oh, and I got my absentee ballot today.

week 6 Day 3 Rain at Last

2008-10-08T11:06:00.002-04:00

Rain at last! I hope to get out to take pictures. My pictures from yesterday did not turn out well enough to post.

The dogs think it is the kind of day we should just stay in bed. I understand their thoughts, but I have to do something constructive every day, so while I will join them for a nap, I am getting up for the morning.

Last night while in the tub I had this thought that maybe I would be the ONE person who would never walk again. Now don't comment about how i will walk, I know that and intellectually i know i will walk, but it just seems like there is no forward movement in all this. In my broken ankle group everyone else seems to be making progress and walking and driving. So once i had this thought, It became intrusive. I began to consider that John would divorce me for a girl with ankles. I thought that I would definitely get hand controls for my car and a knee walker. I decided the doctor just didn't tell me i will never walk cause he didn't want me to go insane.

Well almost time for Animal Cops.

What I hate about you week 6 day 2

2008-10-07T03:57:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, my mom said she would be here at 10 am, so I told John not to make me lunch.

12:30, she was still not here...1:30 not here.... didn't get here til 2. Anyone who knows my mom would not be surprised by this and I am not sure why I, again, expected her to be on time or anywhere near time.

I hate this about her. We joke about it, like grandma said 4, so she will be here at 7. But even if we joke, it is supremely annoying. My sister is the same way. I don't get angry anymore about it, be cause I have built it into the equation. It is still annoying. I would rather she say she can't do something and surprise me than count on her.

This is not my particular problem (at least I don't think so!), but over the years I have found that the things that annoy me the most about people are things that I do myself. My biggest failing, I think,is my lack of consistency. (Feel free to email me with your thoughts on this.) I get all excited about something and go hog wild, then I can't stick with it. I drive myself crazy with this. At this point in my life I am not sure I will change this, but hope springs eternal.

But realizing that the thing that annoys me most about people is something I probably do to some extent has made me more tolerant of the foibles of others. I tend to take a hard look at

what annoys me to see why. Because of having all this time on my hands, i have had a lot of time to reflect on my shortcomings and what I want to change about my life.

Those of you who know me know I love the show Animal Cops. I have also spent a good deal of time in the company of beagles. The thing about animals is that they live in the moment more. There are animals on the show that are starved and neglected, but once rescued are willing to trust people again and be friendly. They don't seem to nurse resentment and bitterness, although many of them have reason to. I, on the other hand, can wrap up my hard feelings like they are a gift to be prized. Nursing a grudge is a family sport.

Letting go is one of my most recent self help projects. The other, which is a recurring, on going project, so don't get your hopes up, is to be a better listener. I have noticed from Animal Cops that people often substitute animals for people. I think it is because they don't talk, just listen and are fairly nonjudgmental.

I had another walking dream last night. I just decided I would get out of bed and walk..just do it ..and I did. So this morning I decided it was a sign and tried it. It didn't quite work out that way. Iy hurt and my foot is really swollen although it looks OK. I hope I don't have flying dreams.

Week 6

2008-10-05T08:45:00.002-04:00

Week 6!

This is when most people start walking. I guess i thought it would be like you just start walking, but apparently it's not quite that simple. i am going to physical therapy this Thursday, but i think i will only start range of motion. i have been doing that some on my own, but i understand they help a lot more, cause when i do it i am afraid of my foot and probably don't push it.

But when you start walking, i hear you still have to wear the darth vader shoe and it take a month to get to full weight bearing. I cheat a little now and then on my crutches. It its not painful, but my ankle gets purple and swollen, which i think is normal. I don't think i will be cleared to start walking until after my next appt Oct 22nd.

Yesterday Katie drove me to get my haircut and she and Hannah got theirs done,too. We then went out to the Mexican restaurant, since Cobb's Mill was not open.

Other than this, I worked on some cards and sorted out all my embellishments. As i use them i tend to not put the ribbon back in the ribbon drawer and things get scattered and i don't know what i have. in honor of world card making day, I made a card.

Then, there was a three hour Animal Cops marathon! What fun.

Limbo Week 5 day 4

2008-10-03T07:43:00.003-04:00

I am going to go out later and take some pictures to add of the trees turning. i guess they are all getting the signal from the cold. Usually by the end of this month the trees are bare. Last year they didn't drop til in november, but i think that was because there wasn't any rain or wind to knock them off.

The weird thing about fall here is that it starts subtly and gradually gets prettier and prettier. Each passing day brings out new colors, first the reds from the dogwoods and the sourwoods, the purple from the pear and sourwoods, then the yellows, oranges and flames from the maples and oaks. Every day i look out the window or drive up the street it is more and more intense and saturated. Some years it is almost surreal in our yard. Then, in an instant it seems, the trees are bleak and bare. I can never predict the "peak' and it's something you can only be sure of once it has passed. Friends who want to visit always ask when to come and i can only be general until afterwards, when i can say "yesterday was the peak". And to me at least it seems like once it peaks, it is over in a shiver. breathtakingly beautiful today, dank and bare the next.

I have never been able to pinpoint which produces better colors, a wet year or a dry year. Probably it is more than just the rainfall that goes into it. Every year has it's standout species..so maybe they react differently. i only remember one year out of the last 20 that seemed mainly brown. Just the anticipation of the beauty to come makes me excited about the fall.

Did you know there are only 5 regions of the world that experience fall colors? Aren't you glad to live in one? Additionally, the lower Appalachian mountains where we live has the most biodiversity on earth as far as tree species? The reason for this is that as the glaciers pushed down the north american continent during the last ice age, species "fled" further and further south to survive. The ice sheets stopped their advance north of here and as they retreated the refugees stayed.

Sometimes i am suprised I ended up moving as far north as i am, because in general I do not like cold weather and this is definitely the furthest north I think I will ever go (never say never), but i am happy to be where there are 4 seasons and grateful winters are mild.

Now to the Limbo reference. I remain biding my time until i walk. I have started taking more risks with my foot. I have put a little weight on it. I can now bathe easily and get around better.

I have become more inventive in getting or doing what i want. If it had only been my left i know i would be driving. The carrying limitation means no real cleaning or laundry doing. Some of the people in my ankle support group get around this by rolling across the floor on desk chairs. i am not willing to sacrifice my floors to do laundry or vacuum. Yesterday i went downstairs again and straightened out my scrapbook stuff as much as i could. I still can't find a glue stick!!! there is no way I won't be cleared to walk after my next visit and then it shold only take me 4 weeks to get to full weight bearing. So here i am, another day of plotting ambulation!

Week 5 Day 4

2008-10-02T07:52:00.004-04:00

I wrote two letters. One to my mother in law and one to a friend in a nursing home. How about you? I have tried and tried to get my mother in law to use the internet, so i can share pictures, but it is too overwhelming for her.

This will be pretty bland cause I am in a funk. i look at my foot and ankle and it looks pretty normal, but i am terrified of it and angry at it. i know I am probably getting near the end of this phase, but I look at the calendar and it seems to stretch endlessly. I feel like i could just get out of bed and stand up and walk (still having walking dreams), but I am terrified of even trying. I have relied on my ankle all my life and it let me down. Maybe it took the brunt and saved me from something worse. I read the progress stories of my fellow gimps and I know that if every other person can recover, I can....but when? I did something the other day and it blew up with swelling and the whole right side turned blue. Is it that delicate? If so, this may take a lot longer than I am planning on. But as I am famous for saying, nothing ever turns out the way you think it will... nothing... I can't think of one thing, so this will be no different.

The highlights of my day yesterday; I shared a fart story with my friends Amy and Jamie (who love a good fart story as much as me). Amy wanted to take me to the grocery store and let me ride in the electric cart, but that is more humiliation than i could stand. I know she'd take a camera! Also, i finally went downstairs to work on some cards.

What a mess! I can get around pretty good, but when I started working on something I would need something else, so i would have to find it and then i would think of something else. I only got one card done and i never did find my glues stick. The girls have been down there making cards, so things are not where they are supposed to be and hunting isn't as fun on crutches. Usually when i make cards, I start with one idea and then It kind of morphs as I add things and change it, but this Time I am going to have to follow the "recipe" and get it done. I am hoping to start Christmas cards this weekend. Today, my goal is just to straighten up one bit at a time with a lot of resting in between. If i break it in small steps it will be doable.

I also came up with a Benedict Arnold costume for Hannah the other day at the last minute. i thought it was really good, call me if you ever need one. Then she comes home yesterday and tells me it wasn't due til next week! So instead of being last minute, we are ahead of things.

Write a letter/ read a book week 5 day 1

2008-09-29T09:57:00.002-04:00

I love getting mail... don't you? My girls love getting letters. I have tried to explain to them that the only way to get letters is to write letters. Katie has a correspondence she has carried on with some girls she met on a cruise 6 years ago. Hannah has tried to begin correspondence with a few relatives, but most people aren't tuned in to writing and don't write back or she lets it slack off after a while.

***Warning -- story from childhood alert ***** I am old enough to remember when it was a BIG DEAL to talk long distance on the phone. If my mom got a long distance call on our party line (yeah that, too) she would make us all be quiet because it was a LONG DISTANCE CALL. I always wrote to my grandmother and still do, but now it is somewhat because she is so hard of hearing it is difficult to talk to her on the phone. Now it is not a BIG DEAL. It is virtually free. And then there is the internet and email, which for sure are quick and easy, but isn't it nice to get a letter? I know it is more instant to email or phone, but more fun to get a letter.

I have a box of love letters from John when he couldn't live without me. What will my girls have? A box of love texts and emails?

Before I made cards, I bought engraved note cards and sent letters on this. I like the cards better because it a way to put even more of my style into it. You don't even have to say much, but it means a lot.

So fellow scrapbookers and card makers, can you think of someone who would enjoy a letter?

I challenge you to drop a letter to someone to suprise them and brighten their day. Why not make a family project of a pen pal? An older relative who is more isolated? Someone who just needs a word of encouragement? You may or may not get something in return, but that is not the point is it?

Also, I just tried something for the first time and i want to share my new discovery with my dear readers. Many of you know I love to read and can read a book a day. in the last three days i have indeed read three books. But many of you know I am also cheap. I have not been reading as much lately because I just don't want to spend the money on something i will consume so quickly. to me it is like putting a restaurant meal on a credit card. And those of you who live in Blairsville know that our local library has all the best sellers, from 1964. I prefer non fiction and only once in the many years I have gone there have I found the book I wanted.... no exageration. The last time i went in there I inquired about getting books from other libraries and they told me about the PINES system, where I could log in and search for a book and have it delivered to this library FROM HOME. I will say it takes a little doing to set up the account and learn the navigation of the system, but it does work and is actually easier to search than the system in the library. There is a lag time on the availability of new books, but I can wait. If you love to read and are frustrated like me, give it a try.

Experience Week 5

2008-09-27T19:50:00.007-04:00

My grandfather used to complain to me about how little time he got with doctor and how he didn't think his doctor considered all the aspects of his many problems. He was in his 70's and had multiple medical problems. He had become very limited in his circle of activity. It mainly, at this point, involved his house,his medicines, his illnesses, and his doctors appointment. He complained bitterly about how young people treated older people.

Knowing my grandfather, I am sure when he was young that he was not as concerned about the older people around him. He was, I am sure, polite to older people, but truly being concerned about their limitations and issues, i doubt it.

I am not judging him. I think it is hard to understand where people are at until you are there yourself. You can be empathetic and supportive, but it is hard to truly understand until you have been there yourself. And even then your experience may be different. And once you pass from one experience to another it is difficult at times to remember your life exactly as it was.

Having gone through this experience with my ankle has made me more aware of mobility issues. When john wants to go somewhere, i am mentally thinking.."is there stairs?", Is the threshold too tall, mentally going through the place before we get there.

Yesterday I got in the bathtub all by myself, but I rehearsed it with my boot on first to make sure i could do it without messing up my ankle. Luckily, my upper arms are getting much stronger and i can lift myself from almost any position now, which is better that i could do before with two ankles. Wow, soaking in the bathtub with the window open and the breeze coming in - priceless.

But I digress. My limitations and disabilities are only a temporary setback, making this the suckiest fall ever.

It has made me much more admire those who adapt to circumstances that I am sure I could not deal with. I guess when you have no choice, it is either adapt or fade. When I am in the orthopedist's office there are people in wheelchairs who I can tell are there permanently.

I have had people be very kind to me, offering me seats or chairs with arms, holding doors. I haven't had too much rudeness. I think this will make me more sensitive to others in similar situations.

The picture above is from the creek below our house.

Week 4 Day 6

2008-09-27T16:48:00.002-04:00

here's the girrrlllls enjoying the chair in the sun with the french doors open. Within minutes they were sound asleep and snoring.

Amy came over and brought me toilet paper and Kaiser rolls which I had been craving for days.

We had delicious sandwiches and lotsa laughs. We laughed sooo hard we __________ (fill in the blank). Then one good ______ deserved another and we laughed harder.

Amy handed me Will while she made sandwiches and she commented that some one smelled bad. I blamed Will, but the truth is he was unjustly accused. Katie has had games and ballet and today a band competition. I don't like to take a shower without someone here that could help me if I had problems, so it's been a few days. I will make it up to you Will!

Jamie made me chicken pot pie that was one of the best I ever had! That Jamie sure can cook.

As long as there is no cheese.

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks. In one more week I can start putting weight on my toes! It's a start.

The band is selling raffle tickets $5 each or 5/$20 to raise money for uniforms. The item for raffle is an electric start 4 wheeler. I even think it looks cool and I 'm not much of a 4 wheeler girl. It was donated by George Dangler at the Power Center. Let me or Katie know if you want tickets.

spaghetti carbonara

2008-09-26T18:37:00.003-04:00

I use Barilla linguine, but you can use spaghetti ( thin spaghetti or angel hair does not work)

1 lb bacon (this is for 4)

shredded parmesan - do not use powdered

eggs

salt and pepper

heavy cream

Slice up bacon and fry

Boil linguine or spaghetti

Whole this is boiling lightly beat eggs use one less egg than number of servings you are preparing:

4 servings, 3 eggs....

drain noodles and put in large bowl, add in beaten eggs, bacon, parmesan and mix. The heat from the pasta cooks the eggs. Add salt and grind pepper over mix. Add tsp or so of pasta water and shot of cream and toss again.....

Done and delicious!

It convinced me to marry John! (Well that and the rock next to the plate)

Hannah's Birthday Week 4 Day 5

2008-09-26T10:11:00.005-04:00

I will put some birthday pictures up when I crutch over to where i can load them.

Hannah is 12. Next year all my chillin will be teenagers or older! Hannah picked spaghetti carbonara for her birthday meal. It's her favorite meal, one of John's best and easiest recipes, and

coincidentally the meal he made me the night he proposed. Without spaghetti carbonara it is quite possible Hannah would not be here - no wonder it is one of her favorites!

Hannah prefers cookie cake, so that's what we had. She got some clothes, an ipod nano, a jewelry box and some cash. We celebrated last night because John was going to be gone today, but the celebration will go on today.

So life goes on during my time in ankle jail.

Yesterday was a day of great accomplishment. I got dressed, which did make me feel better than my jammie, underwear optional attire. I went outside with John. I went up the stairs without crawling.

I read a book the day before, "The thing about life is one day you'll be dead"... Don't bother. It was like reading a college freshman essay on existentialism. A much better book about the wonder and

miracle of life is Annie Dilliard's "For the Time Being"... one of my favorite books ever.

I started a book by Bill Bryson about Shakespeare which is great. Bryson is a wonderful writer.

Some people don't like his "A Walk in The Woods", but i found the info background about our home the Appalachians fascinating. His "History of TIme" is an awesome book. Very different in content than his other books, but elegant and amazing.

I have been able to manuever so much better, that I am somewhat optimistic about getting around Disney and having fun.

Gorgeous Calming Day Week Day 2

2008-09-24T11:26:00.004-04:00

Here is a picture of tomatos from my garden. What a bounty we have and had. I had planted weird varieties so we had striped, yellow, black (this was unappetizing), green and cherry.

I had a bumper crop of peaches and cherries. But now my garden is kinda wild..but there is always next year to straighten it out.

Today was such a glorious mountain day-- cool, light breeze over the mountains and changing trees. My bed was soooo comfortable this morning. Soft, cozy and comfortable with lots of pillows in just the right positions. When i turned over the fresh breeze blew in and the bed was both warm and cool at the same time in just the right places. It was hard to get out. The beagles were snoring and a tall red headed angel brought me fresh coffee in bed. The stream rushed in the distance and the sky was a beautiful muted early sky blue. AHHHH!

The day got better and better. I devised a way to shave my legs and John washed my Darth Vader boot insert. It gets kinda smelly. When I took it off in the doctor's office the other day it was so bad I considered farting to sweeten the air. They politely pretended not to notice.

Lastly, i have decided on my new standard "gift" to give my young friends when they turn 40.

A pair of eyebrow tweezers to keep soley in the car. I can wax and check and in the time it takes me to get from the house to the car I look in the mirror and there it is, big as a tree trunk and black as can be, sticking straight out from the middle of my chinny, chin chin. I will bedazzle the eyebrow tweezer to make it look more upscale, but an essential, no?

Going Sideways Week 4 Day 2

2008-09-23T16:09:00.006-04:00

This is the view I see a lot of when I am in bed or sitting in my chair which is 90% of the time. she's my girl.

Went to the doctor today for my one month recheck, hence the title sideways. The anatomical repair is really, really good and the healing is as expected. But last time he told me he wanted me to start bearing weight last week and i said no. This week he at least another 6 weeks in the aircast

with toe bearing in two weeks from now and physical therapy starting in a

month. Probably 8 more weeks before I am even able to start driving or walking more. This was very disappointing to me, cause I visualized a month from now walking and hopefully driving. And I am SICK and TIRED of being dependent on people. luckily I can get to the bathroom myself because that would be totally humiliating. As if i could be humiliated after having babies.

The weird thing is that I like doing things for other people. Leaving someone dinner or something special as a suprise is fun and makes me feel good. But in this situation I feel needy and a burden. I don't like it when the tables are turned. i love treating people, but feel odd when it is reciprocated. OK all you psych majors chime in, and you too, Dr. Rivkin.

I know, KNOW the better it heals and the more solid it is the less likely i am to have problems

later with the screws and hardware later on. I know all this stuff and still I am tired of being patient. But tired or not, patient I must be for time to go by.

Most of my family says "Wow, it's been a month - hasn't that gone by fast?". I am sure it has gone by fast for everyone who walks and is going about their daily business and sometimes I have days that seem to go by faster, but mostly I feel like I am doin' time. I shouldn't complain, cause i have been very blessed by friends who still have time to keep in touch and my family, but it's my blog and I am going to cry if I want to.

"Patience is a virtue. " "Good things come to all who wait." "nine women can't have a baby in a month."

He also said my bones were not what he would expect for a woman of my size. So back on the estrogen I go in addition to the calcium. and maybe some fosamax for good luck.

It was odd in Atlanta today with all the closed gas stations. Eerie and scary.

I went to a viewing tonight and heard about another person who had the same fracture as mine 2 days ago. I wrote him a long email. It's about the only way I can reach out now. He lives alone and i can't imagine having to do this alone.

1 month!

2008-09-21T14:24:00.008-04:00

Well today is 1 month since my accident. John said it has gone by quickly.

It has both gone by quickly and slowly. I am getting excited about my upcoming rehab. I so hope that on Tuesday I have callus formation.

I think when I can wear shoes again I am going to get red sparkly flats to draw attention to my beautiful feet and functional ankle.

Today was an OK day. I watched a good movie, The Martian Child. I ordered tickets for Disney, I forced Katie to go to the grocery store and use coupons, & I listened to the rosary on podcast.

I have in additon to learning about blogging, gotten interested in podcasts. There is so much stuff out there.

nothing big, just another day of (hopefully) incredible osteoblastic activity.

Things I am thankful for:

Raised toilet seat and shower chairs (still number one)

Family and friends

Podcasts

Internet

Movies, things that pass the time. Wish i was more of a TV watcher.

XM radio

sheets dried in the sun

Daisy and Maggie

osteoblasts and osteoclasts

orthopedic surgery

bill pay online

What I have learned this month:

That I can worry about my outcome, the future... but i can't rush it or change it

Blogging

That my family and friends have come through for me big time

That beagles are basically couch potatoes

That you don't have to bathe as often as i once thought

Podcasts

That you will be about as happy as you decide

I know even more that my husband loves me

a day has 24 hours

It helps to "talk' to others in the same boat

The trees are changing

maybe I'll go back to that no shaved leg look like when i was a freshman in college

patience

Week 3 Day 6

2008-09-20T17:00:00.002-04:00

Hard to believe tomorrow will be one month since my accident. It has gone by fast and it has gone by slow. It seems like I have a pattern of good day, GREAT day, down day, good day.....

I am very excited about Tuesdays doctors appt and to see my progress. Things that used to be difficult are easier. I took my 3rd shower this week by myself. I can flip around to almost any position and get much more comfortable. I have gone down stairs. I haven't been able to go upstairs except by scooching. My bruises are fading. My foot still gets blue when it's down for very long, but the incisions are healed and there is not much swelling. I can move the ankle back and forth, but haven't tried anything else until I talk to my doctor. And because I am a good patient I will do whatever he says.

John is gone to Canton again and I am in the company of beagles. I love to watch then sleep, which they do a lot, and sometimes their tails wag and they whimper like they are on the trail of something. I always enjoy the view off the back porch and watching the clouds glide by. I have very little idea what my garden looks like and since there is little I can do about it, I will have to say "whatever" and wait until next year. We got a lot of tomatoes. Mom said my gardenias are not dead which is amazing since they didn't get watered for a month. I love watching the birds come to the feeder.

Every day I start with big plans and my to-do list. Luckily i get through most of it. My goal for this week is to figure out a way to shave my legs. I have some ideas and infinite amount of time to decide. I think i will resort to Nair.

Do things happen for a reason? Week 3 day 5

2008-09-19T15:27:00.003-04:00

Do you think things happen for a reason? Karma? Kismet? Or just random events? Luck? Chance?

This theme comes up a lot on the message boards for my broken ankle support group.

I have personally always thought things happen for a reason or that there is a lesson in events that we can use to be better for our travails. Some people I have expressed this to say," no this is just a crappy thing that happened."

Pick up the broken pieces of your life and move on.....

Before this accident I was thinking about going on a religious retreat to consider my options for my future professional life and take some time to center and quiet my soul. But now I have lots of time on my hands... coincidence or answer to prayer (be careful what you wish for).

I often think my lessons have to do with battling my worst flaws; pride, difficulty expressing affection, compulsive list making and need for constructive achievement, _______(you, as my friends and aquaintances can fill in the blank with your favorite flaw of mine).... This accident hits on some big ones. Not really much achievement going on now. It has been a real battle for me NOT to worry about what doesn't get done the way I want or when I want. I have to struggle to accept that I have to be patient without achievement. Or that that isn't the only criteria for inner peace.

Maybe I need to learn more compassion for others. I have had so much compassion and help directed at me, it makes me ashamed for the times I have thought about doing something for someone I knew needed encouragement or help and I failed to follow through.

Maybe I need to learn patience and perseverance. The only thing I am consistent about is inconsistency. I am going to have to wait for healing and be consistent with rehab for sure if I want to walk normally again.

Or maybe it's just a chance to catch up on Animal Cops Houston?

What do you think?

I haven't blogged in a few days cause my power cord for the Mac went out and John had to get a new one in Atlanta. But now I am back in business. In the meantime John turned 50, with a fabulous Sponge Bob cake. I have made a trip out in the world since i had John to be my personal chauffeur. i went to the office for a few hours. Dana came over twice, once with my favorite pineapple snack. This last week went by so fast with John home. This Sunday will be 4 weeks. I see the light at the end of the tunnel...but wait then there is the rehab tunnel.

One worry at a time

gradual change week 3 day1

2008-09-14T17:38:00.004-04:00

I asked John yesterday to take a close up of the trees I have been photographing and the view, since I don't know how to work his fancy camera. He said I shouldn't post a picture every day cause there isn't enough change in the leaves to see the change from summer to fall. I explained to him that was my allegory for healing. Everyday I have the same routine and look the same, but inwardly , gradually I am changing.. growing bones and healing. When the transformation is complete with my bones, the hills will have changed from green to indian corn, even though if you look every day you can't see the difference. But can you see that there are a few that are tinged red? Sourwoods and dogwoods at this point.

He asks me from time to time how i am doing and i tell him the osteoblasts are working overtime even if i appear to be sitting still. Slowly I am changing,too.

You have probably heard that making small changes is better than making large changes as far as success in something. I am not sure about this. Some of the best changes I have ever made have been the "one fell swoop" type, like quitting smoking.. yep gave it up cold turkey. Probably though beforehand i made a million small changes in my thinking that allowed me to get to that point.

I laugh at myself about all the changes I have made over the years. John and i laugh and laugh about how much we have changed. When we met we were both bleeding heart liberals. I know we both voted for Dukakis and I voted for Clinton once. I suspect he did twice. Now that makes us laugh. Experiences made us change because we engaged those experiences and learned form them.But luckily, even if we didn't change at the same time or at the same pace, we changed together..slowly, but changed. By the way, I am now a libertarian and while he votes Republican mostly every now and then i think if Hilary had been the candidate.....

The biggest changes I have ever made: Quitting smoking, motherhood (although I didn't even know how much), getting a divorce, putting myself through school, changes from being a feminist liberal, living on a budget and using coupons, partial retirement

Smallest changes: haircolor, going back to shaving armpits

Changes I need to make: Weight loss, stop being such a control freak, taking better care of myself, be more of an encourager, say the rosary every day

Changes i will probably never make: my underwear

Right now i have to get back to that osteoblastic activity! How about you?

week 4

2008-09-14T10:52:00.006-04:00

Here is a view of the moon through the trees. Sort of a polar bear in a snowstorm eating vanilla ice cream kind of thing, huh? Next time, back to documenting the progression of the fall leaves.

Either way the view is so tranquil.

i didn't blog yesterday because for some reason the internet was sooo slow loading it just wasn't worth the time to wait. With John being home

I had things to discuss and do with him yesterday, which made the time pass so quickly. And of course being the fashionista, francophile she is we had to watch the Coco Chanel story last night on Lifetime. When we were in France last Spring

we went to Chanel's store. For Hannah this was like trip to Mecca. To even get in the building you had to get buzzed in. This was probably to keep ou the riff raff like us. Of course, we couldn't afford anything, but Hannah felt closer to her just looking. We also went to her birthplace in the loire Valley.

Today I am going to clean my foot. When the aircast comes off, the skin is all dead and dull looking with a lot of flaking skin. There is a lot of bruising and the area around my ankles on both sides does not have all the sensation back from the incisions. From sweating the skin is shiny and has a sour smell. The first time I took the aircast off it was like a foreign object there on the end of my knee. Of course i was freaked about injuring it somehow, but as the time went on and i aired it out and touched it, this was less of a concern. i know i have tons of hardware in it and it is not as fragile as it was. It is almost halfway through the bone regrowth. It is weird to touch the skin around the incisions where it doesn't have normal sensation.

But I am feeling confident enough to soak the foot and use a peppermint scrub my dear friend Jamie gave me to work off the dead skin. This will be followed by rubbing in some lotion and massage to the atrophied calf muscle.

week 3 day 5

2008-09-12T19:49:00.004-04:00

Well this was a very eventful day! I had my first full real shower in 3 weeks. My dear husband came home after 10 days and I had promised him I would do this when he came home. It involved tears,cursing, fear, a new shower head, and strategic planning that rivals foreign invasion. John said that it was definitely time. When I got out of bed this morning and threw back the sheets, his eyes watered and I emitted a green fog like cartoon garbage.

We of course did not agree as to how I was going to accomplish this acrobatic feat and there were a few false starts. But with my big strong Navy man there, I felt safe to try it. One thing i am acutely aware of anymore is thresholds. My next house is going to be built with zero threshold showers and I am going to think about accessibility issues when planning. Joy's comments on my last blog were very true. . you don't notice all the barriers until you have a slight problem and then they are everywhere!

All in all it took about 15 minutes and i feel sooo much better and i smell better,too.John said my previous smell was a combination of rotting fish and construction worker - not to put down construction workers and afterward was the absence of a negative. While I was up he suprised me and washed my sheets.... double happiness!

I so enjoyed the visit from my friends Amanda Henson and Leslie Hughes, who ignored my smell last night. They brought pizza for dinner and my friend Becky Dyer sent along the most delicious salad! They stayed a while and chatted and made my day. By the way, I met my challenge of getting lunch myself and drinks and devised a way to carry things between rooms.

I got the bill from my hospitalization, $18,000.00. And $680 for anesthesia. I haven't received the surgeon's bill.

One thing I do during the day to pass the time is surf and read blogs. I have found some that are funny, some profound, some informative. Next to these, mine is very mundane, I think. But the point of it is to document my journey back to walking and a large part of this is mundane. Most of it is the small victories and the tedium of passing time while my body creates a miracle and my bones heal. I have had moments of crying despair alternating with hope and optimism. My life is now, but i spend most of the time thinking about my life in the future when I can walk again. I realize though that even before the accident I spend alot of time defining my life in the future rather than just what it is now. When I go here....when I do this, or that instead of just being more in the present. From everything i have read, I have 6 weeks of healing...no way to speed it or change it. No amount of hope will change it (sorry obama). 6 weeks whether I can stand another minute or not....so I may as well look forward to it and use it the best I can.

I had a friend who was very disabled in her late 80's. she moved to a nursing home. She couldn't walk without a huge effort, couldn't hear well and was dependent on others for her care. She had never had children and had long been a widow when I met her. Her brothers and sisters were all dead and her only relatives were nieces. She didn't watch TV or listen to the radio because of her hearing problems. At one point she was a prolific letter writer, offering encouragement daily in lengthy correspondence. I knew this meant a lot to her and enabled her to be in touch with people outside her world. Eventually she couldn't write because her handwriting became unreadable. I asked her what she did all day and she told me she spent her time praying for people, especially those who were too busy to pray for themselves.

Today I will send out a prayer for each of you.

Week 3 day 4

2008-09-11T11:11:00.002-04:00

Today I am going to be all alone from 8 pm to 6 pm...but I decided to use it as an opportunity!

I specifically did not have anyone leave me drinks or lunch. I am going to go do it myself. Yesterday I went over thresholds and one stair. When John gets back i am going to take my first honest to god shower and I am going to go downstairs and scrapbook. I am going down on my butt. I would rather try very new things when someone is around. Today I started a long book.

I have to admit, I have ankle envy. I watch Hannah and Katie just get up and walk and go up and down the stairs and I envy their flexible supple ankles! I am grateful for my good one. In the past my ankles had arthritis, probably from weight and i didn't baby them enough. My left one is probably stronger now. And at the end of this i will have one very strong left thigh. I think my arms are getting stronger, too. And I can really balance well on my left side!

Observations;

Beagles can snooze and snore for a looong time. These girls have been asleep all night and since 6 this morning.

I should have cleaned the crystals on the chandelier this summer when I thought about it

I have learned alot from the ankle support group (pun intended). I am amazed at some of the people there who deal with this injury totally alone or trying to navigate new york city with this injury or realize they probably shouldn't have bought the three level house with no bedroom on main floor.

Week 3 day 3

2008-09-10T17:37:00.005-04:00

Here are two pictures from my great adventure out to the back porch. It is a gorgeous sunny day with blue sky and slow moving clouds. Since i have had the girls fill the birdfeeder, so I have had hours of pleasure watching the cardinals, finches and the constant hummingbird buzz. While i was there taking pictures this hummingbird came to eat three times. Another way to measure my sentence... it will be over before the hummingbirds leave!

I can't get the hummingbird picture to rotate..oh well.

My friend Amy came over today, which was a welcome and fun break in my otherwise busy schedule. Turns out Will likes Animal Cops Houston, so we watched it. We talked coupons. OMG, I can talk coupons for hours. I miss this since I am not shopping now. But on the up side, since I had stockpiled before the fall, we have lots of things that I don't have to think about. Other than milk, bread, fruit....we have enough to eat for a few weeks. And I still have stuff in the freezer from all the generous "bring overs" from friends.

I have thought about trying to drive with my left foot. I have heard about people getting in the right side, straddling the console, leaving the right foot on the right side and then using the left to drive.

But after assessing my console I have decided that without some other modification I could easily end up with another problem I don't want to explain in the ER. So for now I think i am going to let that dream go. It's only a few more weeks.

reading on my yahoo broken ankle group i have been impressed with the improvisations people come up with to meet their needs. One guy talked about putting his shower chair outside and bathing with a hose so he didn't have to worry about the wet mess in the house. I think it would be against my subdivisions covenants. With my luck it would be one of the 4 weekends my neighbors across the street came home.

I had been thinking alot about being a servant to others in the biblical sense before this accident. Of course the accident has put me more in the position of being the served, but i still think i have learned an important lesson. All the people who have helped me have served with a giving heart.

Well, sometimes the girls get tired of it or forget that I can't do this or that, but mostly with an attitude of helpfulness. I know that what i feel about being an inconvenience and bother is a common feeling that people with this limitations and injury have... but no one has made me feel this way, it is my problem. So the lesson I take away is to serve when i can with the same spirit. And I needed this lesson.

Sorry Jason, no butt wiping stuff tonight.

week 3 day 2

2008-09-09T19:49:00.002-04:00

Tonight it is raining, so the dogs don't want to go out and everyone just wants to be lazy.

Things I am thankful for today:

Raised toilet seats (still # 1 this week)

My kids.

My dear husband

That I don't have to work right now and that we are not dependent on my income

The perspective that this injury has given me.

I am so jealous of people who can walk! Want something and just go get it...wow- how great! It makes me realize what i take for granted. I vow I will never take this ability for granted again, but i probably will when this is a distant memory.

When I had the accident before Hannah was born was the closest I have ever come to being killed and my first experience with being limited due to medical problems. I really got depressed after that. I also became very grateful for what I had, friends, family and antidepressants that made me feel better. I decided to treasure each day. But life goes on and I got back into taking things for granted. I think it is not possible to live life that acutely.

I have always admired dogs cause they live in the minute and are in to fresh starts. i think I would be a better person. Maybe I'll start a new philosophical movement based on dogs.

This aircast is bulkier than the cast and i am much more aware of my ankle...not pain..just awareness. i try not to think about the days cause I have weeks that need to go by and days go so slow. Funny how like when you are waiting to go on vacation it crawls, but once you are on vacation it speeds by. Maybe I'll pretend i'm on vacation!

week 3 Day1

2008-09-08T16:54:00.004-04:00

What a big adventure today. I put on real clothes and left Blairsville at 6:40 for a 10 am appt with the orthopedist in Atlanta. We got there at 9:45 and traffic wasn't really bad. I waited for an hour for my appointment. Then Xrays, cast removal, staple removal and steristrips. Looking at it, it was not as bad or weird looking as I had heard from others. It really looked like a slightly swollen

ankle. The skin looked a bit strange cause of the cast, but not too bad. After they finished sawing off the cast and taking out the staples...after all that, which really was not a big deal...I got all nauseated, dizzy and thought I was going to pass out. The PA says that happens all the time.

He gave me a choice of a cast or aircast. I chose the aircast cause I can take it off and shower or bathe ( a cheer goes up from my homeys). He says I could bear weight next week, but i told him I didn't want to do that. I am not in a big hurry if more time up and time will be a better healing. He said a week after i started bearing weight he would take and Xray and make sure it hadn't moved and was in the right position. i told him i would rather wait and make it stronger in the right position. I saw the xray and the anatomy looked really good, just with a lot of hardware. So we agreed I will go back in 2 weeks, rexray, and if then good bear some weight.

I am going to double my calcium, which is already very high. The PA said i had a lot less swelling and looked better than most. He said my cartilage looked better than he thought it would during surgery. So, all in all, progress and good news!

Some observations

In all, Dr. Branch spoke to me about 3 to 4 minutes. Mainly I dealt with the PA, who was pleasant and this was fine. Before surgery, Dr. Branch spoke with me about 7 minutes. With an orthopedic surgeon I care more about technical ability and a warm fuzzy personality. They are essentially mechanics. But, that said, I have had patients say, "the doctor didn't even talk to me", and found it hard to believe -- but here it was. I have had patients with whom I have spent a good deal of time talking to them say "she shouldn't charge me that much. all she did was talk to me." I guess there should be a happy medium. After having surgeons like Dr. Efird, who is both a caring interested person, it seems odd to come across a doctor who has little bedside manner. I don't need a best friend though, in this situation just a technician.

Here are pictures of my constant companions ans my fuzzy grrls, Maggie and Daisy

Week 3

2008-09-07T16:58:00.002-04:00

Well tomorrow is my followup doctors appointment. I am pretty apprehensive about the 2 hour (at least) car ride each way, but it is a sign of progress. Today i have been up most of the day and trying to do more things for myself.I had a great night with very deep sleep. I hope I won't be too nervous to sleep tonight. John came home early for drill and it has been great to have him home.

Katie and Hannah went horseback riding and had a good ride. It looked like a beautiful from the window. If I know healing is going well I may be more likely to do more after tomorrow.

The down side is I really smell. The birdbath approach seems to be losing ground. I promised John that tomorrow night I will take a real shower cast or no cast. I am going to have to get up and scrub, so I don't offend everyone at the doctors office. I thought I did a good job yesterday, but those victories seem lost today.

I am proud,however, that I have not pee'd or pooped on myself yet. I have always been able to get to the bathroom.

2 weeks. Each day goes by slowly, very slowly, but two weeks is already gone! Since I think I am looking at 6 weeks till walking I have hope I can make it. I understand there is kind of a low point between 4-6 weeks.

One thing I have done very well on is letting things go. The girls cleaned the house and it looks good. It is not how I would have done it, but it is good and i can let it be that. It will all wait and i will have plenty of time to do it "my way.'

Well dinner is here. I will update everyone after the doctor visit.

week 2 Day 6 After the Fall

2008-09-05T18:59:00.006-04:00

Here is a picture of the dogwood off the porch. The berries are red and the dogwoods are rimmed and veined in red. by October 20th the whole view will have changed with color. We didn't get anything but clouds from Hurricane Hanna.

I know everyone thinks, "Wow, I would love to have nothing to do!". I have always known I would like it, but only for a few days. At least I can see that there is and end to my sentence, or at least I think so, So I have hope and can go on.

I always thought, being a voracious reader, that I would spend my days reading. But so far I haven't even finished O magazine. I don't really have any books and nothing really sparks my imagination. I ordered some that looked interesting so maybe when they come I can get into it.

The big things in my day are the kids coming home, changing positions and making my to-do list small enough that I can do it.

Things I am Thankful for:

Raised toilet seats

Flushable butt wipes

XM Radio

The internet (thank you Al Gore)

My beagle girls

My girl girls

My friends and family

Brought over meals

my internet broken ankle group -- yep you know there is one

underwear optional

Animal Cops Houston/Miami/NY --- thanks Glenda

Hannah is also learning to cook. And I see I have done her a disservice til now by not letting her do enough. She made me Bean with Bacon soup today. It was a steaming blob in a bowl, yep you guessed it -- she didn't add water-- and it didn't look odd to her. The good news, the grilled cheese was better. For dinner she made hamburgers and they were really good for a first time.

Week 2 Day 5 After the Fall

2008-09-05T12:52:00.005-04:00

Today has been good cause two of my friends came over to break up the monotony.

Amy also suprised me by bringing scrapbook supplies and Jamie brought me flushable butt wipes. It's the small things. Will came over and cooed. We are kind of in the same situation, can't walk and somewhat dependent on others for our hygiene. He, however is much more charming. And requires less butt wipes.

Here is the view about 8:30 this morning. It will be a gorgeous day, fluffy clouds. I am hoping we will get rain this weekend from Hurricane Hanna. We need the rain. It has been so dry that some areas in my backyard the leaves have started to change. The sourwoods are all tinged with red.

The beagles are snoring and you'd think they had been up and running all day. They seem to enjoy our prolonged bed time. I had no idea they could rest so much every day. I thought they spent more time playing than they do. They seem to happy as long as they are around me.

I have been very careful to eat high calcium foods and not to snack or eat desserts. The last thing I need is more of me to lug around. I think I try not to drink so I won't have to go to the bathroom too much, but I probably have been way underdoing it. So over the weekend my goal is going to be more fluids.

I don't know what I would do without my mom. Especially with John being gone. She actually does too much, I think. I just like having someone else in the house. Katie and Hannah have been great. Katie has all her activities and I do want their lives to be as normal as possible. I HATE being so dependent on others, but it is what it is. I can't imagine people who must do this all on their own. Eating is such a hassle. I have read about people who cook and all in their wheelchair. I think I'd be relegated to 6 weeks of peanut butter sandwiches. My attempts at preparing food have been a failure. One day I made a hot dog, but had to carry it in my mouth to get to the chair. This weekend I am going to have the girls find my apron so I can carry things.

I have been very grateful for my friends. I realize everyone has their own lives, so I even appreciate more those who have squeezed me in. Almost 2 weeks down. I am very much waiting for my books to come.

Week 2 Day 4 After the Fall

2008-09-04T08:21:00.005-04:00

The picture in "about me" is a picture off my back porch this morning after sunrise. Here is the view right before. The mountains still look grey blue and still. The birds are just starting to sing and come to the bird feeder to eat. It is a very quiet

peaceful time when you can just hear the birds, the windchimes, and the distant creek.

I started this blog because I want to remember to be able to help others who find themselves in this strange predicament. One minute a long "to do" list which I am very famous for and the next minute realizing things are going to be different for a while. I want to remember because it is so easy to forget when things become normal again or you adapt and change to your new circumstances. When I had my second child, she nursed constantly. My first had a nursing "schedule" from the get go, so when this happened it threw me. She would nurse for an hour and a half, stop for 10 minutes, then back to nursing. She wasn't really nursing vigorously, but had to have it in her mouth or she would scream. Luckily I could nurse lying down and sleep through some of this... but I remember thinking I would go mad from lack of sleep. I was sure this would never end, felt guilty about resenting the time and monotony. This was before good cable on at night, so many nights I watched "the Love Boat" reruns while Katie cuddled and nursed. Not very mind stimulating. Did I mention I thought I would go mad? I consulted books to see how long it would last, counting down the days, thinking it would never end. But now when mothers are going through the same thing, I can't remember how long it was before it was over. I can only sympathize and tell them it will end.

It seems like most people who have a fracture like this are looking for information on coping, what to expect.... so I hope this can "be there" for someone. My questions to my doctor before surgery were not about the surgical techniques or risks (it had to be done), but "when will I walk?", "when can I drive?"..... all questions about looking ahead, back to a normal life. Questions I know, as a doctor, that my orthopedist does not know for sure, but I just want generalities, information. The minute after it happened and I looked at my foot and knew it was dislocated, I already was mentally rearranging my life.

I have found a yahoo group of people who have had trimal fractures, which has been a good source of information and understanding. My doctor said 3 weeks til walking (probably it will be 6) and driving...probably longer. I can deal with the longer time frame, I just want to know, and people's real experiences are probably better than books.

Well, enough for today. My "to do" list has gotten much shorter and it is time for a nap, as my constant companions will testify to.

Week 2 Day 3 After the Fall

2008-09-03T18:14:00.000-04:00

I had a great day! I was up more today than I have been and for some strange reason felt stronger than I have. I was totally alone. I really couldn't figure out how to carry something to eat, so I heated a hot dog and ate it right there. And I had a peach. I still have not been able to brave the shower so I am still taking the proverbial "birdbath". But you know, it seems to do the trick.

It reminds me of when I was little and we would visit my great- grandmother in Wisconsin. She lived in a house at the lake that had no indoor plumbing. We had to pump water and bring it in to heat up to bathe. Needless to say, you did not fill up a large tub for every bath. We also had to go to the outhouse when nature called. I would sure hate to have to do all the work life was there with a broken foot.

What I don't understand is why this happened. I have had lots of "accidents", including horse accidents and car accidents, but this was just 2 tiny stairs. Nothing as dramatic, but the worse problem I have had.

At least it will heal. 6 weeks til walking seems like forever.

week 2 day 2

2008-09-02T15:10:00.000-04:00

I started this blog to record my journey back to walking. I broke my ankle last weekend after falling off stairs, two measly small stairs. I knew immediately something was wrong, but there wasn't much pain. I thought it was dislocated, but thought there would be more pain if that was so. I was all set for just a bad sprain. The ER doctor came in and said it was a triple fracture and I would need surgery. Wow my mind reeled. Then they said I was going to be sent home to come back to the doctor's office the next day and surgery would be scheduled later that week.

Well I was 180 miles away from home visiting my sister who just moved to Georgia. And in our small Georgia Mtn town there is no orthopedist. My husband and I were discussing this the ER doctor called the orthopedist and he offered to put me in the hospital overnight and do surgery in the morning, then I could go home. What a blessing! So instead of being just postop I am a week and a day out.

What I had is called a trimalleolar fracture. It has been hard to find alot of information about what to expect. I have found some resources and an online support group, which i will share when I get there. But for now- how has the first week gone:

What I have learned: How to walk on crutches, how to bathe "the important things", that I have great friends and a supportive family. a million ways to shift in bed.

What I hate: being dependent on others, fear about what will happen, the inconveniences of immobility.

What has suprised me: There is not as much pain as I thought.

What lesson I am supposed to learn: I think patience and compassion, but I am sure this will change as time goes on.

IT is hard to find out exactly, but what I think happens next is that at my two week followup I will get my cast off and stitches out, but probably another cast til 6 weeks. Then if all goes well, I think I start some walking again.